Every year when we hit the November 1 mark, my head begins to swirl with thoughts, questions and a need to “organize”.
- what will the holiday season be like?
- how do I want to celebrate the holidays and what do they mean to me?
- what do I want to happen in the year to come?
- which of my goals are a priority?
- how can I create a plan that I can “stick to”?
Do you have any of the same thoughts and questions?
If you are anything like me…you begin to get anxious and feel that you need to create some kind of plan for when New Year’s Eve arrives.
It can seem daunting to think about all of the things you want to create in the coming year all while you are facing the holiday season and all that comes with it as a separated, divorcing or divorced woman.
So, here are a couple of suggestions for helping to manage the next 60 days as we approach the new year:
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Tip One: Create a holiday schedule As you create your holiday schedule, make sure that it includes the details for: Custoday arrangements for all weekends and holidays from now through the new year – make sure that you and your Ex are both in full agreement as to what the holiday schedule is for the upcoming months. Put it in writing so that you both have it to refer to. |
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Family obligations, commitments, celebrations and parties – make sure that any family parties and celebrations are discussed with your Ex so that the custody schedule can be modified if necessary.
Holiday celebrations that you would like to create for yourself, your children and your friends – take a few minutes one afternoon to reflect upon the holidays and how you would like to share them with your children and friends. Do you want to set aside a special time to spend with your kids? Do you want to have a holiday party for your friends and their children? If so, schedule it now and set your intention! Surrounding yourself with fun moments the way you want will help create a happy holiday atmosphere!
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Tip Two: Take the Opportunity to Decorate your Home I believe that the environment we create in our homes for ourselves and our children is critically important to setting the tone that we want for our lives. |
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It doesn’t have to be the “traditional” forms of decorating and perhaps it needs to be different now that you are no longer in your marriage.
Talk to your children about how you want your home to look and feel and invite them to join you in decorating for the holidays…you would be surprised at just how creative they are!
Little festive lights, candles, flowers or any other festive decorations can make a tremendous difference in your surrounding and can be done on a minimal budget at places like Home Goods and the Chrstmas Tree Shops.
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Tip Three: Create Time With your Kids for Setting Goals for the New Year Just as we need clarity, so do our children. Take time now to open the conversation with your kids about what they want to happen for the holidays and in the coming year. |
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Ask them to write down what they would like to happen in the coming Year so that you all can share it on a special day and time. Give them ideas to think about:
- what goals do they have?
- What would they like to achieve?
- Is there a way in which they would like to make a difference in the world?
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Tip Four: Achieve, Experience, Create! Now that you have taken the time to guide your children through a process of exploration and reflection, it’s time for you to do it as well. |
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You will be asking similar, yet a bit more complex questions of yourself:
- what would you like to ACHIEVE in the coming year…personally, professionally, socially, financially, romantically….write it all down with as much detail as possible.
- what would you like to EXPERIENCE in the coming year…does it include travel? welcoming new friends? exploring intimacy again? getting back into an old hobby? Give yourself an opportunity to daydream about what these experiences would look like and write them all down!
- What would you like to CREATE in the coming year…do you want to start a new business? would you like to create new streams of revenue? are there new rituals you would like to start with your children? you get to do whatever you desire and you CHOOSE to do, so think out of the box and WRITE IT DOWN!
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Tip Five: Set Yourself Up for SUCCESS! As you begin to write and open up the creative doors for yourself, be careful not set yourself up for failure, but rather, for SUCCESS! |
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For example, instead of writing that you would like to lose 80 pounds, you can instead create “achievement areas” and specific goals around healthy eating and adding additional fitness to your daily life. Then you can create new experiences around both of these that will ultimately lead you to your desired outcome of losing weight.
If you would like to work together on YOUR MLP, or Master Life Plan so that you enter 2010 with a clear intention and focus on your desired outcomes, just email me at laura@discoverthedspot.com
