As I begin to write my book, which should be released in early 2011, I have so many thoughts running through my head:

• what do I wish I would have known then?
• what are the most important pieces of advice I would give to women who are going through a divorce?
• how would I guide a woman who is making the decision to divorce?
• what are the steps to moving forward through divorce

It has been fantastic to sit and write about these questions and to reflect on all that I want to share.

In addition, I have put these questions out there to my colleagues and Divorce Experts and asked them to answer what they wish women knew before they started the divorce process and how they wished their clients were prepared for the process and transition.

As I get back answers, I have decided that in each Dzine I will share and explore with you one of these wonderful pieces of advice and hope that you are able to apply them to your own situation to make things just a little bit easier.

So, today will be the first of the “tips” that I want to share.  I have chosen this particular item because it was the one that was mentioned far more than anything else and I agree completely with it.  Here it is:

Tip # 1

The greatest piece of advice for you to know and to fully embrace is that your

divorce WILL end and that there will be a wonderful life ahead of you if you

CHOOSE to create it.

What does this mean?

It means that wherever you are, there is a fabulous life waiting for you…when you are ready to step forward and take it!

And it doesn’t matter where you are in the process…deciding whether or not to end your marriage, separated, in the middle of your divorce or moving forward after…this one focus of your attention will be a driving force in what your next chapter looks like.

Each of the experts, professionals and women that I have spoken with have shared that this is the ONE most important thing that they wish they would have known then….when they or their clients felt as though they would never find happiness again, that there is going to be a happy future for them.

I can say, having been exactly where you are, that I never dreamed that I could have the kind of joy and fulfillment that I have now.

No, it didn’t happen overnight, and yes, I had to learn what it meant to “choose and create the life I want”.  I had no idea how to do that and to be honest, it took me a while to actually believe it.  For a long time I believed completely that it was all a bunch of BS and that I was not going to ever have a blissful life.

And, although it is not enough to just believe this, it is truly the first step in the

divorce process and one that will keep you focused during this time.

There will be days, many of them, that will make you feel as though you will never get through it…but those days will be less and less over time and your commitment to believing in your own power to create your new life, will keep you focused and moving forward.

I hope you take this “tip”, write it down on an index card and put it in your wallet or handbag, wherever you can see it on a daily basis.  There is an exceptional new life waiting for you and it is my pleasure and privilege to be a part of your journey getting there.