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Finding love is about you, not about the guy across the bar. It is about:
I love LOVE! I love men! I love that feeling of being in a mutually wonderful relationship. It has taken me a long time to understand what really happened in my marriage, what my role was and what I needed to do fully understand what I want in a relationship and how to get it I encourage you to take the time you need to explore this area of your life. Finding dates and sex is not terribly difficult. Finding someone with who you can share your life, be yourself and both give and receive love is more difficult. However, it is well worth it
1. Be what you want to attract Before you are ready to date, take the time you need to identify everything that you want in a new relationship. Now, the hard part, ask the question “Am I all of the things that I want in a new partner and relationship?” If the answer is no, then that is where you need to begin. It is absolutely true that you WILL attract that which you put out there. So, be honest and look inward before you start searching out there! 2. Online dating IS part of the dating mix No, there was no such thing as online dating when you got married…but, there is now! As much as we don’t want to admit it…given our time, energy and commitments as divorced women…we don’t have a lot of time to devote to dating. As well, since our lives revolve around work, the supermarket and our children’s school and social calendars…we may never have the chance to meet a new guy. So, get on the computer and create an online profile that reflects what you want to attract and selectively choose men who meet your criteria. There is a big and beautiful world of people out there! 3. Sex The dreaded “S” word. Who said dreaded? Sex is great and it’s great rediscovering it the second time around! This is the time for you to get to know yourself sexually. If it is not a comfortable subject for you, make this a time to take it up as a “hobby”. Read about it, work with someone who can help you define your own sense of sensuality and become comfortable with your own body and sexual exploration. Make it fun, playful and a vital part of who are becoming. Then, take control. You decide if and when you want to have sex with a new partner or not. You create the rules and boundaries. It’s your life and your body…enjoy! 4. Laser Hair Removal Not much more to say here. Laser hair removal beats shaving…hands down! 5. No Divorce Drunk Driving No one ever told me that after you get divorced you have to drive YOURSELF home at the end of a night out! I always had a husband to drive me home after a glass or two of wine. Now, there I was, a bit “tipsy” and no driver! Where was the “D” Cab when I needed it? Wasn’t there some kind of divorced late night carpool that I could be a part of? So, here is all I have to say, “BE CAREFUL, DON’T DRIVE DRUNK”! You, your children and your future are far too important to make a mistake like driving drunk. 6. Dating Networking You are now your own new business and you are the only employee. So, you need to develop a sales team! A team that will highlight your amazing qualities, features and benefits! A team that has your sales goals in mind…and by the way, you only need one great sale. Therefore, you need to network. You need to let your friends, family, colleagues, and anyone else that you meet know that you are ready to date and open to meeting new people. Go to social and professional networking events and share your new venture with everyone! You never know where and when you will meet someone! 7. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs… This brings me to my next point….you’ve go to kiss a lot of frogs! Each date is an opportunity to meet a new person, friend, acquaintance. Every date will NOT be THE ONE. Find a way to enjoy meeting new people. Expand your network. Begin to learn to appreciate each date’s good qualities and remember…you don’t have to go out with him a second time. But, be polite…you never know who he knows! 8. Creating Your Story This is one of the most important plays in the book! It goes back to “be what you want to attract”. No one…not friends, DATES, colleagues, family….want to hear bad mouthing, bitter, resentful and victimized comments and conversations. This is an important time to manage and control your emotions, comments and conversations. Stay focused on the positive and on the forward momentum your life is taking. This is not to say that you can’t be realistic and share what you have learned from your past relationships, but name calling, bitter and an unpleasant “story” is a sure way to never get a callback! Create your STORY! Make it what you want your life to be in the future. The past is over, the future is yours to create! 9. Red Flags Red flags are exactly what they seem, RED FLAGS! Recognize them. If it doesn’t seem right…it usually isn’t. You didn’t change your ex-husband, you are not going to change another person either. There are so many wonderful people in the world…you don’t need to “overlook” those things you don’t like. Be aware of your connections to people and be honest about what your experiences are. You want to make good choices and manifest what you really want in your life and relationships. 10. Be your glorious you! You are bold, brave and beautiful! You have taken steps to move forward in your life and you hold the playbook! Play fair, play honest and play big! And don’t forget to have fun. Good luck! |
Finding Love in 2009!
Your Personal Inauguration – Your First 100 Days!
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100 Days! So, what will you do? Setting the tone for your year is something that only you can do. You can:
Or….you can:
What will it be? Because I have been there and am still experiencing the effects of being divorced and a single woman and mother, I know exactly what you are going through. What I also know, is that what happens next is up to you. And, that all the answers are within you waiting to come out.
I believe that I am my own best investment. I have my own Life Coach, I am taking classes, programs and workshops all year long and I have a support circle that encourages me to make the difficult choices that I must make for me to achieve all that I want. Even when I am afraid….which is much of the time. Ask yourself the following questions: 1. What do you want your First 100 Days to look like? 2. What can you do today that will help you get there? 3. What do you need to take that first step? Please know that I am here to support you, encourage you and guide you should you let me! Please consider the new program that I have created that is scheduled to begin next week! It is a small investment for creating your new life! YOU ARE WORTH IT! |
Total Life Transformation in 2009!
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Total transformation is meant to radically change your life! For those that REALLY want to make a change, you can totally transform your life ONLY if you play big, play full out and commit to what you want! The Total Transformation Program is different than anything you have ever participated in. Here is how it works. Once a month, you will be part of group coaching call where you will learn new techniques, tools and resources for a particular area of your life. As part of a group of women all aspiring to make massive change in their lives, you will explore where you are and develop a strategy for your own situation. As well, you will have a one-on-one coaching call with me to go into greater detail with your own personal strategic plan and develop goals for the month. To support you in reaching your goals, you will be partnered with one woman from the program who will be your personal support for the entire year. You will be able to share your experiences with each other, encourage each other and serve as a means of accountability for the month. At the end of each month, you will complete a status update on what your experiences were and how your personal plan of action played out.
So, are you ready? Limited to the first 12 people who enroll! It includes:
All for a low, gentle monthly payment of $47! Jan – Introduction: Where are you? If you don’t know where you are, you can’t possibly move forward! You may know where you are in your divorce process, but do you know what got you here? Have you learned everything you can from this experience? What did you bring to the table in the demise your marriage? This month, you will be asked to look back over the last chapter of your life and explore what lessons you have learned from the experiences that have brought to today. Understanding what you have learned will enable you to shape a future without old patterns. Feb – Money and Finances Gain all the tools and resources you need to take control of your finances, both practically and emotionally! There are many ways to begin to get control over your finances. Not only are they easy, but will take away most of the anxiety you feel about your financial future. Facing finances is often scary when we are going through a divorce. This month you will learn how to study what your financial situation is, put into place the systems so that your finances are within your control and create a plan that takes into account all of the areas of your life that need your attention AND that you would like to include. Mar – Needs Do you know what drives you? I bet you will be surprised to find out! Needs are what drive all humans. What we do, the choices we make and how we act are a result of these needs. Understanding what the needs are that drive your behavior will help you to learn how to make better choices. It will allow you to understand your own needs and if they don’t serve you, to change them. These needs are what allow or prevent you from getting what you want. You won’t be asking yourself “why did I do that” anymore. Rather, you will say, “I know what I want and why”. Apr – Values and Rules You do not have to stay where you are…create the values and rules that YOU want to guide your life! Once you understand what drives you, it is now time to understand the nearly impossible rules we create to get there. If we create a rule that says that we must be perfect to attract and live the life that we want, then we will never achieve our goals as it is impossible to be perfect. This month you will create new rules that will guide your life. These rules will be enjoyable and in alignment with who you are. They will allow you not only to get to where you want to go, but to have a fulfilling life while you do it. May – Wellness Nurture your mind, body and soul! No more unfulfilled resolutions….see your results! As we move through a divorce, we often times forget to take care of ourselves. We may have trouble sleeping, eating and focusing on our body and health while at the same time experiencing stress, overwhelm and anxiety. This month you will assess your wellness level and create a personal wellness plan that can be integrated into your life. You will commit to an ongoing wellness plan so that you will have the energy that you need to manage all that is going on in your life. Jun – Relationships Are you ready for your ideal relationship? You can have all that you dream of…and its simpler than you can imagine! You may not be ready yet, but at some point you will be ready to welcome new relationships and friendships into your life. This month you will participate in an exercise to clarify what you would like your ideal relationship to be and how to get it. As well, we will explore the many avenues for you to open yourself to new people and experiences. During this month we will explore sensuality, how to enhance it in your life and how to nurture the glorious woman within you. Jul – Life Purpose Do you know what your life purpose is? After this month, you will know what you are meant to do and be! It is during times of turbulence and instability that people begin to reflect on what matters most. Because you are going through a personal transition at the same time as we are experience economic and social turbulence, it is the perfect time to explore what matters to you and how you can create your next chapter to reflect what you want your life to include. This month, you will engage in a workshop to discover what life means for you and what you would like your legacy to be. Finding what stirs the passion within you will be a focus of this exercise. Aug – Self Care Take care of yourself! Learn how to unleash the feminine within you and see how you can feel! As you move forward you MUST create self care as a priority in your life. Your children, your health and your ability to achieve the goals you set for yourself are dependent on the energy and focus you possess. This month you will create a plan for extreme self care. Taking into consideration your personal and professional commitments, you will identify those things that make you feel good and create a schedule that includes doing them. Creating a new pattern of self care is the single most valuable thing that you can do for yourself. Sep – Spirituality Have you lost your connection to the universe? Enjoy exploring your spiritual side and reconnecting to that which moves you! It is common during divorce to lose the once familiar connection to religion or the universe. Faith, whether from religion, the universe or any other connection, is one of the best guides to creating your new life. This month, you will explore what spirituality looks like for you and how you can integrate it into your life. Different ways of expressing faith and connection will be discussed with an opportunity to redefine what it means to you. Oct – Social and Community Connect to new friends, new interests and support circles that will inspire you! As we all know, divorce can create changes in our social and support circles. It can often be scary and intimidating to have to develop new friends, new social connections and new recreational opportunities. This month you will evaluate your own social and support circles and take the first steps to opening yourself up to new friends and connections. As well, you will learn how to evaluate just how well your current social circle serves you. The newest social media outlets will be introduced and discussed with an emphasis in trying new things! Nov – Rituals Doing old things a new way! Enjoy this ritual creating workshop! Over time, the way that we celebrate the special occasions, birthdays, and holidays in our lives become our rituals. When we have experienced divorce, the “traditions” that we may have created now seem sad or uncomfortable. It is therefore critical to understand that we can create new rituals for our families and ourselves. This month, you will identify your own personal and family rituals. You will then create new rituals for yourself to reflect the new chapter of your life. You will have the opportunity to design and create rituals in your life that are in alignment with who you are. Dec – Family You don’t choose your family…but you can deepen your connections to them! Explore ways to enhance your relationship with your family and most importantly your children! Divorce will inevitably create a change in your relationship with you family and children. This month you will explore what these relationships currently look like in your life and what you would like them to be. You will then create a plan to grow and enhance those relationships that will include understanding, communication and compassion. These relationships have undergone a major transition and need to be nurtured and grown to make them what you desire. We will discuss innovative and comfortable ways to begin to strengthen these relationships and integrate them into your new life. Please join me for a year of total transformation! For more information and reserve your spot, please email me at: |
2009 IS MINE!
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I laughed when a friend told me that she has adopted the above as her motto for 2009.
Are you willing to let go of mediocre and go for your full potential? Are you willing to let go of your safety net and go for it? Are you ready to quit accepting other people’s expectations of you? Are you willing to make the changes and do the work to go to the next level? What topic has occupied most of your thoughts this past year? What problem seems to follow you around each year? What dream has been gathering dust on the shelf? What would be wonderful for you and your job? What would be wonderful for you and your family? Have you taken time to stop and assess your life and situation? How can you make it better? What can you do to get the ball rolling? 2009 is mine! Are you ready to make it yours? If you answered yes to these wonderful questions, then this will be your year! Setting New Goals and Creating Your New Future! As we enter this new year, let me recommend that this is the perfect time to open yourself up to all that you want to be! With no limits, no fears, no one to hold you back. The following is an exercise that will allow you to dream, create and plan your new future…I hope it is as helpful to you as it was for me! Step One: Brainstorm a list of anything you would like to achieve, create, give, have, do and/or experience in the next 20 years! Put everything that comes into your mind down on the paper…DO NOT let reasons why you can’t or won’t achieve it enter into your thought process. Be as bold, creative and open as you can…this will begin to shape your VISION! Step Two: Next to each item on your list, write 1, 3, 5, 10 or 20 years next to each goal to indicate how long it will take you to achieve them. Just Do It!!!! Step Three: Review your list again and choose your top four year goals. Write down WHY you will absolutely achieve this goal within the next twelve months. Focus on WHY you will, not HOW you will. This is what you will focus on as the year moves forward. You will not and can not achieve these goals unless you have clearly and passionately identified WHY you will achieve them this year. Step Four: Write down what kind of person it will take to achieve all that you want. Describe the character traits, values, beliefs, virtues…this person would embody. You are not describing yourself…you are describing the person that WILL ABSOLUTELY achieve these goals. It is a fantastic exercise and if you do it completely, it will be a plan for your year! If you should have trouble really focusing and doing this exercise, don’t hesitate to call me to set up your complimentary consultation on how to create this amazing future. |
Write Your New Story!
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So, be honest…what is your story? How has your story held you back? What has it cost you over the years? Are you ready to write your new story for 2009?
Step One: Write your old story. Make sure when you write your old story that you include everything that you have been using to describe where you are and how you got here. As if you were answering the question, “Tell me about yourself?” from a stranger or potential date. Step Two: Analyze it. Is this story completely true? Pull out from your story the excuses that you use. How might these excuses have held you back? What has this story cost you? Is this what you want your story to be? Step Three: Write your new story. It is time to write your new story. If you are having difficulty with beginning your new story, begin as follows: All the things that have happened in my life to bring me to now have been a blessing because….. Step Four: Repeat your new story everyday. Read your story to yourself everyday at least once. Share your new story with a friend. Share it with the next person who asks you about yourself. Tell it to your family. Focus on this new story and see what begins to happen. This new year, 2009, you will begin to live life not as a victim, but as an author who is writing the new novel of your life. When you open yourself up to what might be instead of why you have been a victim of the past, your entire world will change. |
