So, you were overwhelmed before you got eeparated/divorced…and now you are simply drowning.

And you are wondering…how did I get here? I never imagined that this is where I would be at this age and stage?

Am I right? Do any of these thoughts go through your mind on a regular basis?

Well, here is the simply truth:

You are exactly where you are supposed to be and only YOU have the power to get what you want in your life.

The women that I worked with at the Greater Atlanta Women’s Empowerment Conference spent over an hour working on just a tiny portion of the Overwhelm Management exercise that I shared with them. Their “homework” was to go home and slowly, over the next week or two, complete the exercise taking into consideration all that they manage in their lives.

A couple of the women shared that they thought the exercise was “hard” and that it took more time than they thought it would.

And after a brief dialogue, they all came to the realization that it has been a long, long time since they have devoted any time at all to working on their OWN lives and really focusing on what they want for themselves.

Instead, they all agreed that they float along in their lives each day, week, month, year…”allowing” things to happen to them, rather than creating the outcomes they want.

Hmmmm, something to think about??

Ask yourself this question…when is the last time you worked on your own life? Actively choosing what you want your life to look like?

I remember back to college when I used to pour over the course catalog each semester trying to identify what classes I was interested in, what time of the day they were offered and how many credits they were worth. Creating my schedule was really important and I took a lot of time to design a schedule that met my needs so that I could enjoy the semester academically and socially.

Your life is no different.
It is hard work to get what you want.
It takes time, energy and exploration.

Having been there myself, I completely understand the overwhelm that comes with separation and divorce. That feeling that you simply can’t spend one minute on anything but getting by each day.

Unfortunately, without taking the time to STOP and gain control over where you are going, you will ultimately end up in the same place that you are now. And, you run the risk that what happens to you is NOT what you want.

I felt exactly the same way.
Until, I was forced, by my parents, to participate in a personal development program.
They told me that if I wanted them to support me in moving through my divorce, I had to take control of my life and begin to shape the direction that I wanted my life to go.
They told me that they could not be there for me if I continued to act like a “victim” and behave as though I had no choice in where my life was going.

And boy…was I angry.

I couldn’t imagine that they were telling ME how to handle my own situation. How could they possibly know what I was going through…after all, they were not divorced and did not have to manage all that I had to. I didn’t, after all, deserve this!!

But…they were right.

I reluctantly engaged in a coaching program where I was again, “forced” to ask questions of myself. To explore what I wanted. To actively choose what would come next.
And again, I loved it! The more I took the time to think about what I wanted…the more I was able to take action to get it.

I thought about my kids.
I thought about my finances.
I thought about my professional future.
I thought about my friends…and family.
I thought about my health…and fitness, how I felt about myself.
I thought about dating and romance… what I wanted next in a relationship.

There was so much to think about…but the more I did, the easier it became to manage each of these areas.

I had actions to take.. and each action led to a new choice. As I made choices, new opportunities opened up.

I talked with my kids about what I wanted…what I wanted life to look like with them, what I wanted professionally, how I wanted our lives to be like…it was great.

I know that it is hard to see it now.
I know that you are scared and overwhelmed.
I also know that only YOU can make it happen.
But you are not alone…you have me. I am here to support you.

When you are ready.

I hope you will join me in making 2010 YOUR year! You DESERVE it! And you CAN create an extraordinary life!