So, I mentioned that I have recently gone through a situation where I was, yet again, challenged to set boundaries, honor them, and in doing so, face my fears and do it anyway.

What was so difficult about this situation was that it brought up for me exactly the same emotions that I felt at the time that I made the decision to divorce. At that time, I knew in my heart that my marriage was not allowing me to be the BEST woman that I could be…and that it didn’t fit with what I define as my IDEAL relationship.

It was painful to admit this.

I was afraid. Afraid to tell anyone…myself, my husband, my parents, my friends and most of all…my kids. But I knew that I had no option.

To stay in a marriage that did not bring out the best in me, and did not provide me with what I deep down knew that I wanted, was not an option.

However, knowing this, did not make it easy. In fact, I didn’t know how I would find the strength to get through all that needed to happen to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you feel this way?

What I found at the time of my divorce, is that I was…and am, much stronger than I could possibly imagine.

I also found that I did, in fact, know exactly what I want and was just really afraid of what it would mean if I moved forward in getting it, without my marriage. SCARY!

In my work with my clients, I find that this is ALWAYS true. You DO have clarity around what you want. However, where we all find ourselves “stuck” is in honoring this clarity…especially when it is painful to do so. We become afraid to “say it” and instead, we either accept a situation that we know is not right for us or we don’t tell the “whole” truth…we say “kinda” what we mean, but not really.

Sound familiar?

So, back to my recent situation. I was once again in this situation…faced with having to tell someone that I love, how I REALLY felt and honor what I know that I want.

It was scary.

It was painful.

In doing so, I risked losing this person. Which I was prepared to do…because I love myself and know that I ALWAYS need to honor who I am and what I know to be true to me.

But I did it anyway. And I did so after having my coach work with me and guide me through my fear and pain. She is amazing.

Guess what. I did not lose this person. Things are not the same, but I am moving forward in a way that honors how I feel and what I want. It is part of the journey.

So please, have faith in yourself…your beautiful, courageous and magnificent self. I know that YOU know exactly what you want.

I simply can’t believe it is August already! I wish I could simply slow down time!

I don’t know about you but when I turn the page on the calendar to August, I immediately begin to feel a little bit stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and as if my time is running out.

I embrace the slower pace of summer and so that little word, “August”, implies that summer is nearing its end that the fall is coming. And, while I love the fall and the opportunity to start anew, it also brings with it:

The return of the kids to school

Homework, homework, homework

After school activities and the constant shuttling of kids

Decrease in free time and increase in scheduling conflicts

Routines and schedules

Earlier mornings…

The list goes on and on.

In my heart I know the fall is fabulous and that I have direction and focus that I want to maintain, but my emotions and my brain are telling me, “oh no…here comes the chaos”!

So, before I go to “that place of overwhelm”, I have to remove all of the distractions in my head so that I can see what I already know.

Have you ever felt this way?

Going through a separation and divorce can often be an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes you are feeling empowered and hopeful….while other times you will experience sadness and overwhelm.

Managing these many changing emotions can be a challenge if you do not have the tools and resources that will be necessary.

Here are a few tips for seeing what you already know.

1. Clarity

With all of the distractions that life throws at us, it is sometimes difficult to see the forest through the trees. The greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of clarity. While you may feel as if you “don’t know what you want”, the answers are already within you. You simply need to tap into your inner guidance system (IGS). Take time to work with a coach or in a personal development program to define your vision and create a path on which you can focus your time, energy and attention.

2. Slow Down

During times of transition, and of course, given that we are mothers, professionals, sisters, daughters… with an extraordinary amount of responsibility, it is easy for the pace of life to speed out of control. When you find that you are not able to see things clearly, it is your inner guidance system telling you that it is time to slow down. When your IGS speaks, you MUST listen. Take time to let go of those commitments and obligations that are not critical and free up both time and space in your life to reflect and move toward clarity.

3. Emotions vs. Reality

Often it is challenging to distinguish between your emotions and the reality of your situation. The good news is that YOU have control over your emotions. Contrary to popular belief, with professional support and guidance, you can choose the emotions that you want to feel and change them at any given moment. It may not feel that way, but this is a proven fact. When you are able to manage your emotions, you will be able to explore the reality of your experience and exercise the power of CHOICE as you move forward.

4. Rewrite Your Story

Aaahhh, our “story”. Every experience has both the facts of the experience and the “story” of the experience. When going through a separation or divorce, it is easy to embellish and embrace the “story” that we want to tell, rather than understand and deal with the facts and reality of the experience. As you are able to manage your emotions and gain clarity around your situation and experience, you can then rewrite your story to one that is empowering and that serves you. If you hold on to a story that is disempowering, limiting and “victimized”, you will be paralyzed from moving forward along your journey. The facts remain the same, but YOU can create a story that propels you towards designing your new and extraordinary life.

I hope that these tips have been helpful and that you make TODAY the day that you step into your power and see what you already know.

It is my pleasure and a blessing to serve you and to support you to begin your own journey!